Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Depression and Fear Are Gone

What Now?
I was devastated when they said my depression had lifted. What shall I do now, I wondered, when opportunity accosts me in the street?
Depression had always been my escape route. ‘I can’t do that’ I would mournfully sigh, reaching for my bucket of Prozac ‘I’m depressed’, and opportunity would bother me no more. But the depression has lifted. The ace up my sleeve has been ruthlessly removed. I am completely fucked! .....Andre Jordan

‘I’m leaving’ said The Fear, dragging his suitcase into the hallway.
‘Does this mean I shall be fear-less?’ I asked.
‘Not quite’ said The Fear, ‘Apprehension has decided to stay’.
I smiled, wished The Fear well, and watched him nervously open my front door.
‘Maybe see you again’ he almost smiled, as he headed for the waiting taxi.
‘Maybe’ I said, not wishing to be rude.
 And then he was gone.
I closed the door, took a deep breath, and smiled [apprehensively]....Andre Jordan
What I've learned
I know how you feel Andre! But I guess it is like the alcoholics say, One day at a time. Sure Fear is gonna come visit every now and again, but at least he won't be the doubtful guest he always was; staying too long, eating your food, reading your books and ruining your art with his ever watchful stare. Even when you tried to avoid him or tried not to see him, there he was, like the person you never want to sit next to on a plane. And though you held your breath and tried not to stare as Fear made his way down the aisle, deep in your heart you just knew - you just knew - a matter of course, that he’d sit next to you. But now you realize that you can get up and change seats, and leave Fear behind.  Fear will wave at you from where he is, sitting with his best pal Depression, but they won't join you, not unless you wave them over and invite them to be by your side. Fear and Depression will be there, but only for the next poor soul who wants to take comfort in their company.

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