Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Depression and Fear Are Gone

What Now?
I was devastated when they said my depression had lifted. What shall I do now, I wondered, when opportunity accosts me in the street?
Depression had always been my escape route. ‘I can’t do that’ I would mournfully sigh, reaching for my bucket of Prozac ‘I’m depressed’, and opportunity would bother me no more. But the depression has lifted. The ace up my sleeve has been ruthlessly removed. I am completely fucked! .....Andre Jordan

‘I’m leaving’ said The Fear, dragging his suitcase into the hallway.
‘Does this mean I shall be fear-less?’ I asked.
‘Not quite’ said The Fear, ‘Apprehension has decided to stay’.
I smiled, wished The Fear well, and watched him nervously open my front door.
‘Maybe see you again’ he almost smiled, as he headed for the waiting taxi.
‘Maybe’ I said, not wishing to be rude.
 And then he was gone.
I closed the door, took a deep breath, and smiled [apprehensively]....Andre Jordan
What I've learned
I know how you feel Andre! But I guess it is like the alcoholics say, One day at a time. Sure Fear is gonna come visit every now and again, but at least he won't be the doubtful guest he always was; staying too long, eating your food, reading your books and ruining your art with his ever watchful stare. Even when you tried to avoid him or tried not to see him, there he was, like the person you never want to sit next to on a plane. And though you held your breath and tried not to stare as Fear made his way down the aisle, deep in your heart you just knew - you just knew - a matter of course, that he’d sit next to you. But now you realize that you can get up and change seats, and leave Fear behind.  Fear will wave at you from where he is, sitting with his best pal Depression, but they won't join you, not unless you wave them over and invite them to be by your side. Fear and Depression will be there, but only for the next poor soul who wants to take comfort in their company.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Simon Kenton Cemetery

One of my first cemetery pictures.
Simon Kenton Cemetery, OH

I just love the way the dog is looking up at him with such reverance and loyalty.
Simon Kenton tombstone, the epitaph is amoung one of my favorites;

In Memory of Simon Kenton,
His Fellow Citizens of the West
Will Long Remember him as
The Skilled Pioneer of early times,
The Brave Solider and
The Honest Man

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Happy Birthday Micol

Happy Birthday Micol....Have some cake! Hope your day is great!

Your birthday's a time for careful reflection
  About your life, and its future direction.
You see where you've been when you look at the past;
Most of it's great; you had quite a blast!
You wonder what's coming, what life has in store;
Will it be just the same? Will there be a new door?
Remember this, as you blow out the last candle:
Life holds no challenge that you cannot handle.
By Joanna Fuchs

It’s your birthday time again;
It’s true; there’s no denying,
Another year has come and gone;
You know that I’m not lying.

So for you, the birthday person,
Here’s what I want to say:
I hope this birthday’s the best one yet,
In every delightful way.

So happy birthday to you.
Have lots of birthday fun!
May your birthday wishes all come true,
Even if you have a ton.
By Karl Fuchs

Thursday, October 15, 2009


She wanted to be a blade
of grass amid the fields
But he wouldn't agree
to be the Dandelion

She wanted to be a robin singing
through the leaves
but he refused to be
her tree

She spun herself into a web
and looking for a place to rest
turned to him
but he stood straight
declining to be her cornor

She tried to be a book
But he wouldn't read

She turned herself into a blub
but he wouldn't let her grow

She decided to become
a Woman
and though he still refused
to be a man
She decided it was all

Poetry by Nikki Giovanni
Photos by me

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Damien Echols Defense Fund Art Benefit

On October 25th an exclusive silent auction of artwork will be held with work from 30+ prominent artists from the NYC contemporary art scene. The goal of this benefit is to raise much-needed legal funds for the final push to free Damien Echols.

Echols is an artist and writer who, at 18 years old, was wrongly convicted of murder in 1994 along with Jason Baldwin and Jessie Misskelley, and all became known as the West Memphis 3. Echols was merely a goth-metal kid in a conservative small town who was targeted for being different. Both the trial and investigation were characterized by egregious misconduct on the part of the authorities. Echols alone received the death sentence. The 1996 HBO documentary on this case,Paradise Lost, calls this miscarriage of justice a “new Salem witch trial.”
We—a cross section of artists, museum curators, gallery directors, musicians, and actors—believe in the innocence of Damien Echols. We have put this benefit together as a group of individuals with a common purpose. Unlike other fundraisers that raise money for blanket causes, or institutions, this benefit seeks to save the life of one person, a fellow artist. After 16 years on death row and as many denied legal motions, the Arkansas State Supreme Court will again consider Damien's lawyers' latest motion for a new trial.
  Crucial new evidence of the WM3's innocence has been uncovered, including crime scene DNA that absolves Damien, Jason and Jessie and points to other persons. Some of the country’s leading pathologists have found that much of the forensic evidence presented to the juries that helped convict the West Memphis 3 was false and not consistent with the cause of death or wounds found on the bodies. And recently, sworn affidavits were presented to the ASSC detailing serious misconduct during Jason and Damien's original trial by the jury foreman.

Date: October 25, 2009 6-9PM
Place: Maccarone
630 Greenwich Street
New York, NY 10014

PH: 917-753-6187

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Burn Bright

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and
oh, my friends
It gives a lovely light!
Edna St. Vincent Millay
At the center of every bright flame,
there is always a touch of blue
Sometimes our Light goes out,
but is blown back into flame by another human being.
Each of us owes deepest thanks
to those who have rekindled this light Fire is beautiful and we know that if we get too close it will kill us,
but what does that matter?
It is better to be happy for a moment and be burned up with beauty,
than to live a long time and be bored all the while.
That is what life is for,
it is better to be a part of beauty for one instant
and then cease to exist,
than to exist forever and
never be a part of beauty.
I do not agree with him,
myself, I would rather have half the happiness and twice the longevity;
but at the same time
I wish there was something I wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself...Don Marquis
I've had an idea or rather a vision
It is a vision of every human being
bursting with Fire and with mystery
I write of indefinable and brilliant flames
That will forever burn bright.
The Light I see is there in you.
I see it in every one of us,
and will Always.
I hope it never takes Death or a rape
for you to see this Light
In those around you.
Forbid it should demand such a price
Let me pay the price for you instead.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Thank You Mr Rogers

My First (and still the best) Therapist
"If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person."
"When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone."
Ok you all can mock me and I fully accept your scorn; but I LOVE Mr. Rogers. I always say he is the best therapy ever. Because of him I am obsessed with cardigans. When my family took a trip to D.C. back in the 90's, I made them go to the Smithsonian so I could see Mr. Roger's sweater. One of my pals even gave me the book: The World According To Mr Rogers
"I hope you're proud of yourself for the times you've said "yes," when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful only to someone else."
Here are some tips by Mr. Roger's
"Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love. Like all of life's important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives"
"There’s so much more to everyone you will ever meet than will ever meet your eye.”
"Some days, doing "the best we can" may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn't perfect on any front-and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else. "
"The greatest gift you ever give is your honest self."
"Who we are in the present includes who we were in the past."
My favorite quote by Mr. Rogers that I still say to myself. I love watching the end of the show sometimes to hear him say:
"You are special, by just you being you. There is no one in this whole world like you. And I like you, just the way you are"
Sigh, it's sad to remember that it was Mr. Rogers who told me this instead of my parents, but thank you Mr. Rogers. I think without you my self esteem would be in worst shape.
"The world needs a sense of worth, and it will achieve it only by its people feeling that they are worthwhile."
I wish some of the people I have known, friends and family, would adhere to Mr. Roger's idea of what love is:
"Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now."
Thank You Mr. Rogers